Thursday, March 29, 2012

People-Watching and Me


Staring. People looking. Passing your day in a lovely way. Call it what you want, but it’s still staring/looking at another person and wanting to understand their life or who they are. What are their daily frustrations, joys, etc? What has that person, I am looking at, done today? And how was it different than my day? Would this person have gone about my day or my life differently?
This is what I think people are accomplishing when we people watch. I am guilty of doing it. However, in my life have always been a person who was against it. I don’t like being looked at my people I do not know. No not looked, stared at. Perhaps it’s my nervousness that they are judging me, stemming from middle school or high school. Or it is part of me questioning myself. Whatever it is, I have never been a huge fan. My sister and mom like to go to an activity called “people-watching”, and I have always been adamantly against it. 
This activity has been quadrupled, or more, here in Guatemala. I get stared at each and every day. And I don’t mean a passing glance. I mean a full-on mouth open, eyes-wide stare, for about 20 seconds. Then there are the people who stare, and after I pass them, they start to laugh. This usually involves them saying something unintelligible, in Kiche, which is a language in which I can speak about eight words. The fact that they are speaking in Kiche, makes it worse for my judgement. I have no clue if they are saying something about me or not. Since they were staring, I always assume that they are saying something about me, to try and test myself and tell myself it doesn't matter, which it doesn't. 
It is even worse when I go to my aldeas. I get children coming up to me, one foot from me, and just staring at me. Not staring a word, just eyes-wide staring. I do understand why they are staring. They don’t see too many people with my skin color, and these children usually don’t have a chance to interact with these people. And with my skin color and the fact that I speak English, it is assumed that I have large amounts of money, which leads to more staring, or the dreaded hand-out plead for money. “Quetzal?, Quetzal?, Quetzal?”
The point is that I am still not used to being looked at. But I do think that because the staring is rather extreme here, when I return to the States, I should be able to handle the “people-watching” activity that my mom loves. I also think by being here, I understand the want for that activity a little more. Wanting to understand that person and their life. How did they get here? And in the case of the people here, “Why is she here?” It’s just one of my anxieties that are amplified here, but I know when I return I will be a more confident and self-assured person than I was before I came.
Paz y Amor

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Boring and Exciting is my life


It has been three months since my last blog update. Again, I am such a procrastinator or I do not think that what is currently happening in my life is worthy of an update. I live a pretty normal, boring life. Well as normal as you can be as a Peace Corps volunteer living in Guatemala. Since my last update, I have moved and am now living in a much bigger place. I now cook all for myself. It makes me realize how much I wish I had a fridge, oven, and microwave. I am also a poor person, so I don't have that much money to buy lots of food. Meat, for example, I don't cook for myself. I don’ cook meat for myself for three reasons:
  1. It’s expensive.
  2. It’s very difficult to buy in a portion for one person, and not cost conscious to do that. 
  3. It is sold just out on slabs. Not refrigerated, at all. Which really doesn’t matter if you cook it correctly, but it still grosses me out. 
Back to what I eat. I eat about 4 eggs a day, with bread. Sometimes I have pasta, beans, or rice. As I have stated before, I live a pretty boring life. I go to school and teach, and I come home and usually watch some television program or movie. 
Then again, it is exciting that I only eat certain kinds of food and work in Guatemalan middle schools. I only have cold showers, which is always a challenge to experience, and its always exciting. It is exciting learning a new language, being Spanish or Kiche, which is the Mayan language Santa Clara speaks. I am challenged every day, whether it be by my students and their lack of discipline, a student raising an interesting point, trying to communicate with older Mayan women, who only speak a little Spanish, or just trying to comprehend the transportation systems of Guatemala (all those camionetas, micros, pick-ups, and tuk-tuks). 

My family came to visit me in Guatemala!! Here we are at my mirador, trash dump, and my favorite place in Guatemala. 
Paz y Amor