Stories to tell my gringo friends.

Beautiful blue skies after 2 weeks of non-stop rain and clouds.

This always happens. I am so happy and proud of my blog posts, that I don't want to write any more. Or I think that I don't have anything to write about. So what has been going on since October 11th? Well mid-October saw the end of the rainy season. And it was quite the glorious moment to wake up not only to the sun, but to perfectly crisp, blue skies, as well. (I am forgetting how to correctly use commas, my 12th grade English teacher would be disappointed.)

Once the rains subsided, I was able to go back to school, which meant about 3 days of teaching. Then classes ended for the year, and they don't start up again until January. Here in Guatemala, the school year is January to October-November. And it would look like The States has more vacation time, but with all the holidays and meetings they cancel class for, it actually kind of evens out. So what is my plan until then? Well I have a bunch of planning to do for the next year, but most of that will be done tonight and tomorrow as I prepare for Reconnect. This month itself is actually very busy. I have been stuck (sometimes literally) in my site for about a month, and this month I will be stuck out-of-site. I have a full week and a half of meetings at the main office in Santa Lucia, and then I head to the beach for 4 days (yay!). Then it's back to Santa Clara, and I have no clue what I will do with my time. I am going to participate/help plan the HIV/AIDS activity on December 1st with my local Puesto. But that is all for official plans, but, in Guatemala nothing is really ever official, so SABER(who knows)! I have had a lot of time to think this month, and I have a couple ideas floating in my head, but the plausibility of those ideas needs to be worked out.

Crazy things that have happened since my last post (mostly negative, but funny now, stories):

-I was running a couple weeks ago, which I have started to do in Santa Clara, and not every single person laughs when I run by. Only most, yay, progress! Anyway, I was a block (not even 30 seconds) into my jog, and I had my earphones in. When I pass people I just wave, or if I can breathe, I say Buenos, etc. So I had my earphones in and I saw this man in front of me. I figured he was saying hi, so I gestured my hand to wave. Then he grabbed my arm, and was saying something I couldn't hear. So I took out my earbuds, and I didn't know what I was expected. He lifted his arms, as if imagining that he wasn't able to put them down. Then he said "gorda". I said "NO", and ran off. I was so mad, I couldn't think of anything else to say. I was running, in my own little world, and you thought it was important to stop me (make me leave my little world), and tell me that I am fat. Thanks, buddy. I have been called fat many times in site, but this one was the worst. I don't think that word will ever not sting. (I know all that sticks and stones stuff, but it still does sting.) I definitely wasn't expecting that when I came to country, but it's definitely another challenge to overcome.

-I left for the Sumpango kite festival on Monday, and I was getting on a bus heading from Km. 148 to Chimal. The bus was coming from San Marcos, and, naturally, it was super crowded. So this 50+ man made a small space for me next to him, and I said "gracias". He started asking me all these questions that regular Guatemaltecos ask me. Where do you live? Where do you work? How old are you? Are you married? Where are you going? I said Antigua, and he said he would be there later that weekend. He asked me if I like to dance, and I lied and said no. Then he told me he had been divorced 3 times (red flag!). Then the seat next to me opened up with more space, so I happily moved over. I saw him get out a piece of paper, and he was writing something. And next thing I know he was giving me his phone number, I had, literally, just met the man 5 minutes earlier. While trying not to be grossed-out, I politely said"no gracias". But that's not the worst part of the story. We had to sit next to each other for the next 1.5 hours. No, that's not awkward at all.

-My last story. So this happened with one of my students. I was having a really rough day teaching, and I was excited to teach Tercero because they are usually so good. So I did my lesson on careers, and I was then informed that it was my last day to teach there (not good communication, as usual). So I was saying how lovely it has been to get to know all of the tercero students, etc. (The schools I teach at have three levels, primero(1st), segundo (2nd), and tercero (3rd). So after tercero, I don't teach them again). So, the students were asking me questions about where I live, if I like it here, etc. And one girl raised her hand and asked "Que es su sexualidad?" (what is your sexuality?). I think my whole face did a double take, and I thought there's no way I heard that right, so I said "Como?, as if to expect a different question. She asked the same question again. I have never been asked that question in my life. So I quickly answered "Me gusta hombres" (I like men). Later, I thought about what I should have said. Heterosexual. Or I maybe could have opened the door to the discussion of homosexuality. Maybe this girl was questioning her own sexuality or just wanted to learn more about people who are different than her. Or I could (and should) have gone the "it's none of your business" or "that is very inappropriate" route. Then we could have opened a discussion about the importance of boundaries between a teacher and student, and that in the professional world you would never ask this type of question to a teacher or colleague. But, no, I had to go the "me gusta hombres" route. I thought about it, and I have literally never been asked that question. Where I come from, be that the United States or the South, you do not ask that kind of question, ever! I mean it just never occurred to me that I might be asked that question. It should have since I live in a culture in which the people get married between the ages of 14 and 20, and I am 24 and unmarried. So, that question was one for the memory books. Then the next question makes it ever better. She asked me "Cual es los nombres de sus padres?" (What are the names of your parents?) I told her, and she had a couple more questions, and then I left school for the day. But still, her first question is about my sexuality, and the second is what are my parent's names. Really?!? What a random assortment of questions.

Those are my stories for this blog post. Guatemala continues to surprise me. Love it!

Paz y Amor

Rain, rain, rain, rain, rain

I thought I loved the rain. The rain always gives me the opportunity to be lazy, which is a hobby of mine. The rain always lets me sleep with the soothing sounds of water falling on my window. The rain evokes me to think about meaning and understanding of my life and others. I have always been the person who was excited for it to rain. While the rain would be a hassle for others, I would be smiling, inside and out.

My values have changed. It been raining since I arrived in Guatemala, which was almost 6 months ago. Now I was warned of the “rainy season”, so I wasn’t caught off-guard by all this rain. I was, however, caught off-guard by my reaction. Reasons I don’t like the rain here in Guatemala:

1.     I am always wet. My hair, my clothes, my skin, etc…I am never wearing the right shoes. I don’t want to wear hiking boots (which are my rain shoes) to school every day. I am trying to look professional.

2.     It’s so much more slippery. Now I am clumsy, but with the rain I fall even more. The dirt gets packed down, and then turns a shade of green. The shade of green means that it is very slippery. I get so many more looks when I walk on the slippery, packed dirt, because I am concentrating hard and going very slow.

3.     My clothes are never dry. Since I don’t have a dryer or a washer, my clothes must dry outside. And 60 degrees with hard rain is not a suitable environment for clothes to dry.

4.     Not being able to leave my town or go to school. The reasons being mudslides, cresting rivers, etc…

5.     I can’t enjoy this beautiful country as much as I want to. I go outside less, which is some ways is kind of nice, but mostly is absolutely awful.

6.     Boredom.

I have come to this conclusion over the past week. This week has been very rainy! On Tuesday, I woke up and it was raining hard! In Guatemala, it never rains in the morning, only in the afternoon and night. On Tuesdays, I have my school in Pasajquim, which is 1.5 hours away by mini-bus. It is a very long ride, with very bumpy, dirt roads. On Tuesday, I was worried about my ride, if it was raining in the morning; I hope the roads are okay.  The rain stopped, and I went to school. When I got home at 5, it started to rain hard. As I went to bed that night, the rain was so loud. I had to use earplugs to be able to sleep. I woke up on Wednesday, and it was still raining hard. Hello, Tropical Depression 12-E! Not good. Wednesday, we had no electricity until about 1. Schools were canceled, and Peace Corps put us on Standfast. (Standfast means that I can’t leave Santa Clara.) I taught UNO to my family, and we played for about 3 hours. The electricity finally came back on, and I could charge my phone (I was down to one bar, which isn’t good in situations like these). On Thursday, classes were cancelled again. Yesterday, I was supposed to have a Peace Corps meeting in Sololá, which I was looking forward to, and that was cancelled.

Now I come to boredom. What have I done with all this time? Well I have played UNO with my family. Tried organizing all my papers, which I didn’t finish. I have spent a lot of time on the Internet. What have I been watching? Well I downloaded Modern Family, Community, Parks and Recreation, and The Office. In the movie department, I watched V for Vendetta (Occupy Wall Street reminded me of this awesome film), Horrible Bosses twice, and I am currently downloading Magnolia. I have finished one book, and am halfway through the next one. Could I have done some work, yes! I am so bored, that can’t see myself doing any.  It’s not logical at all. I hope to do some today, but I don’t have a lot of faith in myself in this area.

I haven’t seen blue skies in I don’t I know how long. I haven’t seen the sun since Monday or Tuesday. I might be having affects of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). I am trying to enjoy the lovely sound of rain, but it gets difficult when it’s all you hear. I know walking to my mirador of the lake would really boost my spirits. However, it’s raining, and it’s too cloudy to see Lago de Atitlan anyway. This rain is supposed to end soon, so I will get my lake view in a couple of days. And no pictures have been taken this week, because I didn’t want to get my camera wet.

And, I should mention this. There have been many mudslides, cresting rivers, falling rocks, etc with this particular storm. Right now, even if I wanted to go to San Juan, Sololá, or Xela, I couldn’t.  So many people have been affected by this storm. There have been more than 20 deaths. I don’t have it that hard; I am just bored and dealing with a small case of SAD. There are people who have lost their family members, homes, cars, and businesses all in a matter of days. I am keeping those people in my thoughts and trying to be positive about their future.

Anyway, I know that by early April, I will be saying “Where is the friggin’ rain???? I want it!” The grass is always greener on the other side.

Paz y Amor.

Parties and Teaching

What to write about this week? Well last week, my family had a birthday party for my two sisters. They told me about it about two days before, and I already had plans to go to Pana, but they kept hounding me and I was guilted into going. It actually ended up being really fun. It started at 2, and ended at like 6. It was nice just to watch the kids play. I led an awesome game of musical chairs, they really liked it! My host sisters, Andrea and Vivian, each had kids over from their classes, they had their own cakes, and they got some awesome gifts. (I got them each some nail polish!) It was also really nice to be able to bond with the adults in my family. For example, I bonded with my host dad's mom. Who I thought only spoke Quiche. Nope, she speaks awesome Spanish. After an awesome dinner of Tamal and Coke, I crashed into bed.

Let me explain what Tamal is. In other parts of the country and the world, it is called Tamales, but in my family in Santa Clara, it is called Tamal. So you place rice, a piece of chicken, and some sort of sauce inside a big leaf. I can't remember the name of the plant, but I remember what it looks like. (I am being a bad Peace Corps volunteer now, not remembering an important part of Guatemalan culture!) Then they wrap the leaves and cook all the Tamals together. For instance, at the birthday party, they cooked a lot of them. They were put in a very large pot (I probably could have sat in the pot, that's how big it was!). And the pot was placed under the wood burning stove.

Finished product! So delicious!

This week I also had the volunteer leader of Youth Development, Jessica, come and help straighten out my life. She came on Monday, and because of our meeting, I now have a lot of new ideas for the future. Well the reason why I am writing this was I wanted to make a point that I had a great morning, so I can write about my afternoon. So I went to my school here in town, and I had three charlas to give. My charla with Primero (1st in middle school, like 5th or 6th grade) went well, as well as it could go with Primero. Then came Segundo. Ahh Segundo. At this school, there are two classes of Segundo, so I put them together to give them the charla. Well these classes do not like to go into the other room for some reason. Whenever I tell them "Ok, let's go to Segundo B's classroom", they stare at me and each say "No quiero (I don't want to)". This same thing has happened for the past three weeks, so when it happened again this week, I was not going to let it slide. I went into Segundo A's classroom, and told them to come. They didn't. I went back a couple minutes later, and they were just chatting and now staring at me. I told them that "I don't have time for these games" and "I am the teacher, you all are the students" in my strictest, bitchiest voice. I was so mad! And then some of them still wouldn't come to the other classroom, so the director had to come and get them move! The director!

So after 10 minutes everyone was finally in the same classroom, and I could give my charla. It didn't go well. It was a charla on self-esteem, and I was going to do the activity where you have a piece of paper with your name at the top, and you pass the paper around, and your classmates write nice things about you. When I did this activity in middle school, like 12 years ago, I kept it for years. I would look at it when I was having a bad day, and it would help me feel better. Basically, it helped me raise my self-esteem. Because of this, I was so excited to do this activity with my kids. Well the problem was that instead of writing positive messages, some students were writing mean things about one another. I was so disappointed in them and a little in myself. In middle school you already have low self-esteem, now these kids are going to have lower self-esteem, because of what the mean ones wrote, and partly because of me, because this is my activity. I had no way of knowing which kids were the ones writing the bad words, but I would suspect the boys. I had to get some responsible girls to help me cross out words like "Diablo" (devil), and write words like "bonita". At the end of the activity, I gave a small lecture on the importance of being nice to your classmates, and how disappointed I was in the students who chose to be mean. I also said more on the importance of silence and respecting the teacher. It's not like most of them listened, but at least I said it.

This school is my worst, as far as discipline goes, and I have a lot of work to do in that area. Work with the students, teachers, and parents regarding discipline. My time at Catholic school, most notably St. Ann's, is coming back in a major way. While I hated my time at St. Ann's, and I still think that they were way too strict on middle schoolers, it was very disciplined. I want all of my kids from that Segundo classroom to go to St. Ann's and get a lesson in discipline. With homework slips, being quiet, and walking in straight lines. I know that I was lucky to go to St. Ann's, not to say that my Mom and Dad didn't have trouble paying for my sister and I. (It was expensive!) But I did have that opportunity. My parents really cared about my education. Not to say that the parents here don't, but there are different priorities. However, just because I did got to a strict, kind of expensive, Catholic school, doesn't mean that I don't think every child deserves that type of discipline. Especially in this culture, where education isn't has highly valued as it is in the States.

I never would have thought that I would be a teacher in a foreign country. Chelsea, a teacher? The jury is still out on the verdict there. But I am trying my best, and trying to improve my patience with my kids. But it was because of my education and the discipline I have that I was able to get here, and I want all of my students to know that. I didn't fly here with my own money. I flew here because I was qualified, because I had discipline with my studies. (Side note: Whoa, I am turning into my Dad, with the focus on "You need more discipline" and "You need to focus on your studies".)

Here are some pictures from the past week(ish):

Guatemalan women preparing food for the birthday party. 

Sunset in Santa Clara :)

Birthday girl, Andrea

Birthday girl, Vivian!

Me and my host parents

Paz y Amor

Môj otec, mi padre, my papa

Nels Anders Swanson, 1952-2007

I have been dreading this week since I found out I was accepted to the Peace Corps. Four years ago tomorrow, my life changed forever. I was a junior in college, sitting in Economics class. I looked down at my phone and saw that I had three missed calls in a span of a couple of minutes. Very odd, considering you don’t call over and over unless it is an emergency (I didn’t live in Guatemala, where they call over and over just to chat.) I had a voicemail, and it was from Bam. Now my grandmother, who my family affectionately calls “Bam”, is not a crier, at least she wasn’t back then. The voicemail was Bam with a VERY cracked voice telling me to call her back. I immediately knew something was VERY wrong. I started to cry as I listened to the voicemail, crouched down in my seat during class. I immediately grabbed my things and left the large auditorium where class was being held. I went out the back door, and as I went down the stairs to exit, I called Bam back. She answered as I was making my way to the door. I opened the door and felt the warmth of a beautiful October day. She gave the phone to my mom, and my mom said the six words that forever changed everything “Your dad has had a stroke.” The October sun faded away, and everything seemed to become dark.  The rest couple of days were a blur, and on October 4^th, 2007, we took my papa off life support and he passed on.

This is an oldie. My papa and I at a gallery opening.

Now back to the here and now. This week has always been difficult for me, as is to be expected. The past few years this anniversary has had its events. A Vandy-Auburn game on the first anniversary, the biggest family fight I have ever had on the second anniversary, and last year, my mom, sister, and I all got tattoos. This Tuesday will be the fourth anniversary, and I am not sure how I am going to handle being without a physical family presence. I know everything will pass, and it will be fine. I kind of don’t like it, that I am trying to make it just another day, it should be memorable. By Thursday, I will be back to my normal self. My current plan for Tuesday is to watch Raiders of the Lost Ark, one of my Dad’s favorite movies, and have a beer. How am I going to get a cold beer into my house without putting it in the refrigerator and without letting my host family see? Something I need to work on.

Dad and I at a Reds game. Our last photo together.

This blog is all about me, and to help me with my grief over the day, I thought I might write some things about my Dad. My dad and I always had a special bond; I was definitely “Daddy’s little girl.” My sister still makes fun of how I got basically anything I wanted when I was around him. During the last couple of years of his life, I was in college, and that is when we really started to bond. During high school, I was still “the apple of my father’s eye”, but we would have many disagreements. Ok screw disagreements, we would have yelling wars. We Swanson’s know how to yell, it is in our blood. I think it was because I was a teenager. During college, that cooled down a lot because we didn’t live in the same house. We would talk about sports, the Swansons, movies, and about what was happening in our days. It was great. He was my dad. I miss him so much and what I wouldn’t do to hear “GERFFFFFF” one more time. My dad liked to make up weird nicknames for our family. I was Gerf, Hannah was Catish, and my Mom was Gam. Amazing parents raised me, and we all had a wonderful bond, and we still do.

Me, Papa, Mom, and Hannah at Uncle Bennie's wedding. 

Now I am in the Peace Corps, living in Guatemala, and for most of the day, I don’t speak English. I know that my Papa would be proud of me, and I am sure he would call and would want to know all of the details of my day. He would be so proud that I have learned a foreign language, and that I was doing my little part to make a difference in people’s lives. He would obsess over the safety. Right before he died, I was thinking about studying abroad in South Africa. One of the last emails I got from him (we were big emailers!) said some thing like “I think its great you want to go to Africa, but why not go somewhere safe like France?” It always makes me smile to think about it. I miss him, and think of him lovingly and humorously daily. 

Paz y Amor

Fotos desde el mes pasado

So, again, I have not posted in a while. Which really surprises me, because this month was kind of boring.  A lot of waiting for things to happen. This month I had a great time in Pana, elections happened!, went to Sumpango, and then back to site for more boredom. But I am finally on track with my schools, I hope! This week, I started to give charlas everyday, which I could not be more excited about.

So I have also been thinking how much I want to create a photo blog, however I just can't see myself as a person with two different blogs, with two different sites. So I have decided to make this blog more photo focused, maybe with my favorite photos I take from the week or something. I also need to investigate if there is a place here in Guatemala that can develop film. I have a nice Nikon camera in Nashville, but it's not digital, so I couldn't put it online. But I could play with aperture, shutter speed, etc, which I can't do on my current camera. I don't know, I should probably think about it some more. I might get my family to bring it when they come and visit me.

So these are my favorite photos from this month.

These are some people from Pasajquim, which is one of my aldeas. They are watching a parade of people , during the inauguration of a new building for one of my telesecundarias (like a type of middle school).

Jovenes wearing traje

A woman watching the inauguration of the building.

Una mujer looking into one of the empty classrooms...

Pana at sunset. :)

A man and child watching the Independence Day parades 

Marimba at a quinceañera in Sumpango.

Until next time. Paz y Amor.

Day at Xetulul!

On Saturday, I went to a Guatemalan theme park named "Xetulul" (pronounce the "x" like "sh"). It was an incredibly long day. I have had a very long week, with 10-hour days each day this week, so I wasn't completely excited about another 10-hour day (it ended up being a 16-hour day). 

My host family waiting for the minibus at 5AM.

So I woke up at 4:45 yesterday and was ready to leave with my family at 5AM. My family had set up this trip with a church that my host mom’s family attends in the aldea of Paquip. We went to the center of town to wait for the van. We waited about 15 minutes in like 55-degree weather. I was quite chilly by the time the bus arrived. The van was completely full. There are five of us (including me), which were getting on the mini bus. The four rows were full and some people were sitting in the front. My first thought was "Oh no, 3 hours of crouched standing." The people who were in the front seats moved and my host mom, host sister, and myself climbed in. It was so warm; I thought the happiness might overwhelm me. (I would come to hate that warmth later.) And we were off! Yay! We went to Santa Maria (which is the muni maybe one kilometer from Santa Clara), and the minibus stopped. We waited; I am not sure what for. I went to relieve myself in the milpas, and finally (about 30 minutes later), we were leaving our part of Guatemala. It was 6AM now. 

Going down into Retalheleu. Look, you can see some of the coast!

I was sitting in the middle seat of the front. The driver was to my left, and my host mom with my host sister on her lap was on my right. I felt very tall, because the seat was raised. It also wasn't very comfortable, but I figured I would get used to it. My legs were squished to the side in the passenger side's area for legs. My seat didn't have a very long back; it met about 3/4 of the way up my back. We made it up the mountain that leads out of my town, and at this point I was starting to get really hot. I pulled up my sleeves. Didn't help. I took off my sweater, helped a little, but it was my legs and butt that were burning. I tried to sleep. I don't know how, but I ended up falling asleep, but I have no clue in what position, since there weren't many options. I woke up and we were passing Cantel, Quetzaltenago. I thought we were almost there. Just on to the next department, and we will be there, yay! Well after Xela, we went down the mountains of the department of Xela, into the department of Retalhuleu. We stopped on the road for a quick descanso, and I was so happy to be able to move my legs, and see the beautiful mountains of Xela. About 30 minutes down the road, we stopped in the town of San Felipe (I think). I wasn't sure why we were stopping, come to find out we had one hour for breakfast. One hour, really? Are we having a four-star meal? If my Dad was here, he would be outraged. And that part of me was kind of frustrated. I am all about enjoying the sites on the road, but not when we are on a day trip. 

Well we finished our breakfast of pancakes and cuchitos in about 20 minutes, and had plenty of time to spare. We sat in the park, and enjoyed the 90-degree weather. My family kept saying "mucho calor" (very hot), and it was hot, but I was just enjoying finally being able to sweat. I laid down on a bench in the sun, and tried to soak up as much sun as I could. It's as close to tanning as I can get, since I live in Santa Clara. We were finally able to leave, but not without a stop at Sarita for a helado (ice cream)! I got back in my hot seat, and we were off. Twenty minutes down the road we were stopped by some police. I think they wanted money, because we needed permission to enter Retalhuleu. Who knows? We waited for about 30 minutes, and then we were off again. Come to find out we were only another 5 minutes from the park, how frustrating! We parked, my host sisters changed, and we went to the entrance. It's 11AM now. 

Everything in Guatemala takes longer than it should. This day, a 3.5-hour trip took 6. Once we got in the park we sat and waited. I think we were waiting for other people, but then we got impatient, and went to another part of the park to wait. We didn't start riding any rides till about 12PM. We also came to find out that our admission, which was only Q10 per person, only came with 12 rides. We received this ticket, with 12 spaces on it. There were 5 of us, which meant about 2 a piece. What a rip. We then had another man join our group. He thought he knew all about the park, which always really bugs me when people think they know all. I just wanted to experience the park, and let things find me. He wanted to explain everything, and especially since I am a gringa; he really wanted to explain everything. I had just met him that day, but I was told he lives in Santa Clara. All day, he wanted to control things with machismo, and I wanted to challenge his view. So in my own little way, I challenged his view of machismo. He wanted to lead the group, so I walked faster and led. I didn't follow his heavenly advice, instead did what my family and I wanted. I challenged his advice, and questioned his knowledge. I was frustrated with how we were just walking around the park not doing anything, so I might have channeled my frustration there. 

Riding the coaster!

We finally got to ride some rides!!! My host sisters, Andrea and Vivian, rode the Carousel. To see the joy in their faces made me so happy! Then I rode a small roller coaster with them, and we all rode a train around the park. Then we were out of boxes for riding. It was like 12:45, and we were done. That isn't how a day at an adventure park is supposed to go. So I was nice, and went and bought 12 more rides for Q50. It was so worth it. I just wanted to see some more happy kids! So we went to ride some more rides, like the log flume (my favorite), a swirly thing, and a swinging ship. My host dad rode the big roller coaster, crazy. 

We were hungry. It was a big deal looking for a place to eat. They wanted to leave, but I suggested we stay, because I had seen some cheap places to eat in the park, and I wanted to continue to enjoy the park.  It was really only the stranger man who wanted to leave and go to Xela. We started to look for places to eat, which was really hard for them. I suggested we just look around, and find something, but they wanted everyone and their mother where a good place to eat was. This isn’t like normal adventure parks where you receive a colorful map on the way in. We found some places, eventually. So I had a cheap, almost crappy, cheeseburger with Andrea. It was pure joy. Everyone else had chuchitos. I am not sure why you would come to an amusement park, and eat the same thing you eat all the time, but people are different. 

Some decorations at the park!

Trying to get Vivian excited to take a picture, as we were leaving.

We left and went out to the car. More waiting. We got in the van, and more waiting. I decided to take off my leggings because I was already hot, and I knew the ride would be hotter. We finally left. And Oh My God, it was so hot in the van. I found out why I was so hot. My legs were by the motor, and I was sitting on another important piece of the car, which was also hot and not meant for sitting on. We stopped to get some fresh plantains, and on our way again. I fell asleep, somehow, and woke when we arrived at a gas station near Xela. I was sweating in every part of my body, but I was determined not to complain, at least not that much. Everyone was saying how it’s cold again, because we were back in the Highlands. I couldn't feel it. Still super hot. We were off again, and we stopped for another descanso at Cuatro Caminos. I had some Pollo Campero, which is fabulous as always. I got back into Hell, and we were on our way. It was about 6:30 when we left Cuatro Caminos, so it was pretty much dark. On the way back, my host mom and I talked about various things. I told her how dad died, and she shared with me that two of her siblings had passed away when she was younger. It was nice to be able to talk with her.

Once we arrived back in Xiprian, which is an aldea, about 3 km from Santa Clara. It was 8PM, and I was still sweating. I was starting to get crabby, I just wanted to get home and shower. Oh no, not yet, we needed to be in a parade. No joke, after the whole day of traveling and walking, we were going to be in a parade. Some kids were doing a torch run. I was actually really impressed, after a very long day, some kids were going to run the 5 miles pack to Paquip. So we followed them, very slowly. I felt like I was never going to get my shower. We finally got to Santa Clara, stopped for another 5 minutes, and back to the parade. I couldn’t take it, so I said that I was going to go to the back, and get out of the hell seat. It was so much more comfortable, and now I was just ready to get home. We finally were left off of the minibus, and we walked home. I took a cold shower, and because I was so sweaty and hot, I LOVED my cold shower. At 9PM, I had finished my shower, put some aloe on my sunburn from the day, and collapsed into bed.

It was a very fun, long day. I want to go back again, but maybe next time with some gringos, who know how to enjoy an amusement park. I will never sit in the front of a mini bus again for long trips, well not if I can help it. For the good and bad, it was a trip I will never forget.

Paz y Amor

Un Poco Gordo

So something happened today during school, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I was talking to a teacher that I haven't spoken to yet, and I was telling her how much I love Guatemala and Santa Clara. She then told me that she lives in Xiprian, which is one of the aldeas I work in. I was saying how I have walked up the huge hill in Xiprian, it has to be at a 25-30 degree angle. It is steep, and I was telling her that it was difficult. She then said "es porque usted es un poco gordo." The translation is "its because you are a little fat". I was completely taken aback. I wanted to say something about how that was a little rude, but then I remembered that this is Guatemala, and gordo is not a bad word. So I just continued with the conversation.

So now we come to this moment. I have been thinking about this little comment, and trying to analyze it in a way that was acceptable. And I cannot for the life of me think of one acceptable reason, other than its culturally accepted. For example, in the States, you do not call people fat. If anything, you say the word chubby about someone else, behind their back, for descriptive purposes. If you are describing their athletic ability, you would say "they are out of shape." But never to their face, as that would just be pointing out a flaw that they have. In the States, we put a lot of weight on image. I know that this cultural pressure is what influences me to be offended by the word "fat".

So I thought outside of the realm of personal beauty. I thought about inner beauty. I would never say to someone, "well that's because you aren't smart" or "Well thats because you aren't a supportive person". Then I thought about commenting on someone's flaws, which I usually only do in a joking manner. Say I say to my sister "My room is so messy", and she would say back, "well that is because you are messy/lazy." I know she is right, but she only gets to say it because we know each other so well. If someone I just met said "well that is because you are a little lazy", I would think that person is very rude.

Let me also say, I am sensitive to the word fat. It has plagued me all my life, and I definitely have issues with my weight. I always have, and it is something I am always working on. Since I am sensitive to the word, I know that triggered a bigger reaction, hence this blog post.

This has become one of the first things in Guatemala in which I am not comfortable with. If it continues, I will have to say "Maybe next time, please don't use the word gordo, because that is offensive where I am from" or "that kind of hurts my feelings". Who knows? I am sure this will happen again, and I think I am more prepared. However, I still find it offensive.

Peace and Love.

The Great Plan

The past two weeks have been entirely busy. It made me really tired, but I would much rather be busy, than be bored. Last week was feria in my town, which means that its the annual celebration of the awesomeness of my town. I also had a Spanish teacher come from Cuerpo de Paz, so I wasn't able to enjoy the feria as much as I would have wanted. But I did enjoy what I saw. There were food booths (of food I couldn't eat), 3 ferris wheels, and booths selling stuff. Stuff would be the best word to describe it, because it is such a cornucopia of stuff like pots and pans, shoes, jeans, remote controls, illegal DVD's, watches, and much more.

I have been watching so many movies lately. They just make me so happy, that I almost watch one every day (Holy cow!). One movie I just watched was 127 Hours, and now I have illegally downloaded the book, and I am reading that now. It is such a great movie, and an even greater book. (I mean when is the movie ever better, almost never!) Well, one of the things that really struck me was how much Aron Ralston really believed that it was fate that the boulder fell on him. And while my situation is NOTHING like that, it got me thinking about fate.

Fate: There is a plan for your life. Now I am sure some of you have heard the story of my mom buying a photo of Lago de Atitlan a couple years ago. Well I will tell it again. My mom was at a gallery opening or something, and it was a photography exhibit. She was struck by this one photo, which was a dock leading off into a beautiful blue lake, with the edge of the lake leading to three volcanoes. My mom liked the photo, and continued with the exhibit. A couple of days later, my mom was still thinking about the photo. My mom is an artist, and is not one to buy art. All of the art in our home was either done by her, or given to her as a gift by her artist friends. Well I couple of days later, she decided to purchase the photo. We hung it up in the living room. (I must say I wasn't the biggest fan, because it was a copy and the paper was wrinkled, and it could have used some work with presentation.) A couple years later, we redid the living room, and took it down, and I think we put it in the attic. While all of this is happening, I am applying to the Peace Corps. Well I get accepted, and go to Guatemala, and end up in a town right next to Lago de Atitlan. When my mom remembered the photo, then I recognized it as Lago de Atitlan, well I felt it was a sign of fate. I live behind Indian's Nose, which is a mountain right next to Volcan San Pedro. Another cool thing was Indian's Nose is also in the photo, so you can almost see my town.

The point of this story is how much I truly believe in fate. When I was applying to PC, I was being a slacker. I just did not want to fill out the application. I was actually suffering from a bout of my lovely depression, but didn't know it at the time. So it took me forever to finish, like 10 months. Why did it take me so long, fate. I was meant to come to Guatemala, to live on Lago de Atitlan, and to have some amazing experiences. Whenever I feel frustrated with my work or living in a different country, I just think about this. This is meant for me for a reason, and I have to have faith. It will be all be okay, because this is all part of a bigger plan.

I am not a religious person, I am spiritual. I believe this wholeheartedly. I wont go into my qualms with religion. But I truly believe that me being here, not just in the Peace Corps, Guatemala, Lago de Atitlan, Santa Clara, but sitting in my room right now, that this is all part of a higher plan. I know that The Great Spirit has great and difficult things in store for me, and I cannot wait to see what they are.

Peace and Love o Paz y Amor

What to write???

Another week has been a blur in site. I finally starting to find my feet. I have really been having trouble working out my room. As many of you who know me, it usually takes me a couple months to decorate, and be happy with, the rooms/apartments I live in. That being said, I am trying my hardest to make sure that doesn't happen here in Guatemala. I need a place to rest my head and clear my mind, and I can't do that in a room I am not comfortable in. I still am trying to find blankets (still using the sleeping bag), baskets for my things, and trying to figure out how to organize myself. Now I could probably accomplish this in one day, but I wouldn't be happy with it. I am an analyzer and organizer, what can I say?

So, on to more fun activities. Yesterday was a pretty fun day! I went to Pana with a couple of friends, and even got to go on a short boat ride. It was so nice to be out on the lake, looking at the mountains and volcanoes surrounding it. I tried to not take too many pictures, and just enjoy the moment. It was a peaceful and fun moment. Every time I see the lake, the beauty overwhelms me. It's a cliche, but it's true. (Most cliches are true.)

I think work is going well. It's hard to really evaluate, considering it's my second week in site. Most of the teachers in my schools are excited for me to be there, even though all of them think that I am teaching English. I even get introduced to the community as an English teacher. Now I do speak English, but that is not what I will be teaching. I am trying to suggest to them, that while I probably will help them with English, that is not my primary purpose. In time, it will work itself out.

All of the students at my schools are really intelligent, and most are very engaging. I am ashamed to admit this, but I did not expect this coming in. I thought that they would have the potential for being intelligent, but not necessarily using most of their potential. And I didn't think that they would be engaging at all. This was an involuntary stereotype in which I came in with. Well, it has been shattered, as I think most stereotypes should. I am glad that I have overcome this emotion, and now I can truly be an effective teacher knowing that my students have so much potential, are intelligent, and engaging. Let me also say, this "teacher" part is all talk, because I have never taught in my life. It is definitely a new experience. That experience of having all of the power in the room, being in front of a chalkboard, standing up commanding attention, and all of the students sitting down.

I really wanted to write today, but I couldn't think of what to write about. I mean what I write, but I pulled it out of my ass. I don't want to end this post with the word ass. So, it will end with the word happiness. :)

Semana numero uno en mi sitio

As I sit here in the dark of my room, it being another night with no power, I am debriefing with myself my first week and a half at site. It has been very eventful, so eventful that I have been sick and had to stay home from school yesterday. Last week, all I did was work on my living arrangement and observe all of my schools. It was nice not having many responsibilities, since I was not very comfortable yet.  The observations went well, and I think that all of my schools are very excited for me to be there. While both of us are not sure of the plan for the next two years, that will come in time.

The rest of my time has been spent trying to set up my room and relaxing. Relaxing includes watching movies and TV shows. It has been my saving grace being able to watch Parks and Recreation, Limitless, True Grit, Unstoppable, LA Confidential, and many others. Instead of freaking out in my head, I am able to focus on something unimportant, and relax my mind. Being in a new country, speaking a different language, with different customs, a new family, and a new job, my mind can get overwhelmed at times.

This past week, I have purchased many things. I went through that move in allowance quickly. I received just over Q3,000, which was just enough for me to buy a bed, a stove, gas for the stove, get two bookshelves made, paint for the bookshelves, and food to get me started. That is what I get for moving into an empty room.

In front of Lago de Atitlan

I have also had a couple field trips outside of Santa Clara. On Friday, I went to Panajachel with two volunteer friends, Linnea and Ashley, who I live relatively close to. We had lunch and walked around Pana. I finally got to be on the shore of the lake. It was so beautiful, relaxing, wonderful, majestic, etc.. (Think of any positive adjectives and that would, in most cases, describe Lago de Atitlan.)

On Sunday, I went zip-lining with my friend Ashley was one of the directors from one of her schools. It was an intense and memorable experience. I have always wanted to go zip lining and I finally got an opportunity. The park where the zip lining is located is located in my town, about 20 minutes from my house. (Hint, hint for those who want to visit.) So we did two zip-lines. The first one was about 50 meters long. It was a little bit high, but after I did it, I felt so proud of myself. I was ready to conquer the other one; well, my body had other plans. As I climbed to other one, I started to get really tired. Now let me say, I am not in shape, however I am in better shape than when I came here. We were climbing stairs straight up, and I was really having trouble breathing, and on top of that, I had a slight cold. I had to stop about 5 or 6 times before we got to the top. That altitude really hit me hard. I was very embarrassed. In Santa Clara, I am at about 2000 meters (which is 1.2 miles) up. This mountain we were climbing was about 2600 meters (which is about 8000 ft). I am completely not used to the altitude yet. I finally got to the top, and had to sit down to catch my breath again. I was really scared, and nervous as to why this was happening to me. To make me even more scared, I was about to zip line on the longest (or highest, I can’t remember) zip line in Guatemala!

I caught my breath, and was hooked onto the line. I went flying down the line. To my left, were beautiful mountains and to my right, was the beautiful Lago de Atitlan with views of all of the volcanoes. I was up so high; I would say at least 10 stories. I finally reached the other side, and what a rush it was. I took off my heavy-duty gloves, and my hands were shaking. Many people who know me would be surprised that I zip lined, and I am so proud of myself for doing it. And, I am actually super excited (and nervous) to do it again.

This has been my week. After this, I am going to read by headlamp, and try and get some sleep. Hasta luego. 

A very eventful two weeks!

Leading up to site visit and counterpart day was incredibly nerve-racking. I was so anxious and really wanted to pretend to be sick. Counterpart day came and went with only a little bit of awkwardness.  My counterpart and one of the directors from my schools came, and they are both super nice. It was only stressful for me because of the lack of Spanish that I have, and the fact that I am still trying to be professional, but I am not sure how to say what I want to say.  There were times in which I wanted to explain more and talk more about my job, but I had no clue how to say it in Spanish. On Tuesday, the 5th, I came with 2 big suitcases and a large backpack to the Peace Corps office, fully expecting to have to take a camioneta to Santa Clara La Laguna. I was also freaking out at this possibility. Nevermind going to the place in which I am going to live for the next two years, how I am going to last 3 hours on a camioneta with all of my stuff.

Luckily the people who were coming from Sololá had a car, so I was able to get a ride and have all my things safely in the bed of the truck. We left Santa Lucia around 11, and made our way to Chimaltenango for lunch. I had Pollo Campero for lunch in Chimal; you can never beat some Pollo Campero! After lunch, we were back on the road. I slept most of the way, and we after a bunch of bumpy, dirt roads we arrived at my site. It is a quiet little town, but not quite as little as I was expecting. The town is very spread out, with another pueblo right next to it. I can walk ten minutes to a lookout of Lake Atitlan, and take a camioneta for about thirty minutes to the shore of the lake.

I arrived at these houses down a slight hill, not to far from the center of town. The truck stopped in the dirt, as the truck literally could not go any farther. One of the directors of the schools, Francisco, who had ridden with me from Santa Lucia, helped me grab all of my things from the bed of the truck.  He handed some things to man, and that man took them down the hill, and to the side. I must be living down there, I thought. I made my way down the side hill, while it’s super short, it is also super steep. I slipped on my way down; I tend to do that alot here in Guatemala. I was lead into a bare room right off the house that only had my two suitcases in it. I became incredibly overwhelmed at that moment. I was hoping for furniture.

I was greeted by the same man who helped with my bags, Juan, who I found out would be my host father. I met his wife, and his two adorable daughters. They watched me while I sat in the room, and tried to contemplate how to start my life in this town. Many thoughts were going through my head, as they stood there asking me basic introductory questions. I was thinking: (How do I begin to form lasting relationships with these people? How do I start unpacking? Where can I buy all of my furniture, and will I have enough money? I was really hoping for a second room. Be positive, and happy. I am so stressed I can’t speak any Spanish. Just calm down, and breathe. Where am I going to put all my stuff?) They watched me unpack some of my things even though I didn’t have anywhere to put them, besides the floor. The rest of the night was miserable. I was told earlier in the week, that the first day of site visit would be the worst in the Peace Corps, and that was right! I felt so alone, without my friends, my host family, and without a clear plan!

The next day I woke up from sleeping on the floor and felt so much better. This is going to be ok! I went out with Francisco (who is the director of the school in my town), and we went to the mayor’s office, the health center, and I had a great tour of the town. I was then walked to a lookout of what I was told would be Lago de Atitlan. We arrived to this grassy, muddy area with some trash on the ground. I don’t know what I was expecting, but I walked to the lookout, and could not believe my eyes. It was the most beautiful place I ever seen. I felt like I was having this amazing experience. I am in this gorgeous country and am ten minutes from this view. Fate really has a plan for me, and I am truly blessed. I could not stop saying, “Oh My God” and “This is Amazing” for the next five to ten minutes, all in English. I cried, laughed, and took some amazing pictures. During those ten minutes I became truly happy to be in my site, and I knew that I was going to try and do amazing things for this community.

For the next couple of days, I went to all my schools, met some very nice people, and began to know my town a little better. When I left on Saturday, I was excited to leave, but I wasn’t unexcited to come back. I arrived back in Sumpango in the afternoon, and it was so nice to sleep in a comfortable bed and have a hot shower. The next day was our family lunch, and we made hummus, tacos, and flan, all homemade! It was so nice just to relax with our families, knowing that it was one of the last times all of us would be together.

The rest of the week passed by as usual, while it wasn’t usual in the least bit.  We had many sessions on becoming real volunteers, and I had many wonderful moments with my fellow trainees. On Tuesday, the 12^th, all of the trainees sat outside in a big circle and shared their thoughts on life, Peace Corps, Guatemala, and the road to this point. I was inspired by what everyone said, and I was happy that we did that activity. While it kind of felt like group therapy, waiting for everyone to speak, it was a lovely way to process the experience of training!

Thursday, the 14th, was the big day! I was sworn in as a Peace Corps volunteer at the ambassador’s house in Guatemala City. I wore traje, which is the traditional dress of Guatemala. I was uncomfortable for most of the day, as what was keeping my skirt up was wrapped tightly around my ribs. However, I now have a new found respect for all of the women in Guatemala who wear this. I could not imagine wearing that everyday, and I respect anyone who does. I said the infamous oath taken by every United States citizen working in foreign service. It was amazing saying those words, and this dream becoming a reality. I am now a Peace Corps volunteer! After all of those years of dreaming, years of applying, and 3 months of training, my dream has finally come true! Now comes working in my community, and I could not be more excited to start!

Finding out my site!

This week I found out my site, which is the town in Guatemala in which I will be living for the next 2 years. All week, I got more and more anxious as Thursday came closer. Our training group is separated into two different programs, Heathy Homes and Youth Development. Healthy Homes found out their sites on Wednesday. When I got home on Wednesday, there were so many happy people on Facebook, just so excited to know their sites. On Thursday, our training class got together for class in the morning at the Peace Corps office. We had meetings on Behavior Change and Secondary Projects. Everyone from Healthy Homes was calm, and some of them smiley. Youth Development was not feeling this way. Some of us were sitting in a row during the meetings, and all of us were moving our legs, using our bodies to act out our anxiousness. Classes ended, and we had lunch in Santa Lucia. We all ate lunch within 10 minutes, and then we had one hour to kill before we were to leave to find out our sites. That hour passed so slowly. I would keep looking at my watch, and only 5 minutes had passed since I last looked. We were finally able to leave, and we were driven to San Bartolme Milpas Atlas, where some of the trainees live.

We arrived and Gonzalo, the boss man of Youth Development, set up a big map of Guatemala. Gonzalo and Aliyya worked on putting 15 pins in the map, to show where all of us are going. The pins were pretty spread out over the Western Highlands, with some in Quiche, one really close to the Mexican border, some in Baja Verapaz (which is close to Guatemala City), and some by Lake Atitlan. We were all given heavy manilla envelopes with our names on it. We then all opened it together! I opened my envelope with much excitement and hestiation, and I saw the name of my site. I yelled "Sololá!" My site is Santa Clara La Laguna, located in the department (state) of Sololá! Sololá is the department of Lake Atitlan, which was described by Aldous Huxley as "the most beautiful lake in the world."

I picture I found online of the road to Santa Clara. This is where I will be living for the next two years! I am so incredibly lucky!

I am so excited to start my work. I am going to be a first generation volunteer, and going to be working with 4 schools in the area of Santa Clara. I am going to visit my site on Tuesday till Saturday, and I could not be more nervous. I am also very nervous to meet my counterpart tomorrow! My counterpart is basically my boss, the guy who I will discuss my plans, and possibly get his help. I am so nervous to meet him! I can speak Spanish ok with my family and my Spanish teachers, but I am nervous about speaking with him!

The rest of the day of Thursday was spent celebrating! That manilla envelope had a lot of information about Santa Clara, for instance the highest temperature in Santa Clara is 24 degrees Celsius, which is about 74 degrees Fahrenheit. I have internet, a bank, a market, and I am surrounded by mountains and volcanoes. I am at about 6500 feet, which is more than a mile above sea level. The main business is agriculture, and the main products are rice, coffee, beans, and avocados! (I am obsessed with avocados, so I am super pumped about this!) 

On Friday, all of the trainees got together in Parramos and started learning the mayan languages of our area. I tried my hand at learning some Quiché. It is such a hard language, and it makes Spanish look like a piece of cake. Saturday was a very fun day. We had a celebration for the 4th of July! All of the volunteers were there, and I definitely had loads of fun! It was a very different way to celebrate the 4th, and I loved it! Today, I have started packing up my room for my site visit this week. I am packing up my stuff because we are suppose to bring most of our stuff with us to leave in site, and then come back to it after swear-in. 

I am so excited about where I am going to be living! And I can not wait to start this new adventure in my life! I am going to miss training, I have had so much fun and made some really good friends. But everything must come to an end. When one thing ends, something else begins. I am getting really excited about that something else.

Update on my life.

I have not posted on this in about a month, and I am kind of embarrassed to admit it. I have had the feeling “hey, I want to post on my blog”, but instead I post pictures on Facebook, and update myself with Facebook. Well no more, I want to make some kind of commitment to this blog. I really believe in posting on a blog, and all of the positive features a blog can bring.

Anyway, so June has been very hectic! I am nearing the end of training, and I could not be more excited or bittersweet. June started out with a bang! It was the first of three birthdays, which I will celebrate in Guatemala. I had a blast with my friends on Saturday, June 4^th, and then on the fifth I had a lovely relaxing day with my family.

On the 6^th of June, I left for Field-Based Training! We went a town called Salcaja in the department of Quetzaltenango, which is about 3 hours east of Sumpango. It was Riley, Richard, Sahisha, Linnea, Lucy, Elizabeth, Brady, and myself. It was really nice to be able to get to know the a group from another training town a little better. FBT was really nice, but it was not all rainbows and flowers. It was incredibly stressful. We had 4 charlas to give, in 4 days, or 1 charla (or “talk”) per day. Another thing to add to the scenario is that we only had the night before to prepare. By the time we got back from dinner each night, it was about 8PM. I had a couple late nights during that trip. I gave charlas on non-verbal communication, being assertive, self-esteem, and HIV/AIDS. Most of my charlas were with children, and one was with parents. 

The town of Cantel, Xela. Beauty. One of the many towns we saw on FBT.

Salcaja flagpole. Monument dedicated to the peace of Guatemala

My FBT group.

Salcaja has many yarn stores. I had to buy some!

It was so nice to really dig my hands into the work, and get a tiny preview of what I will be doing for the next two years. Field Based Training, overall, was a blast. Because all of us were so exhausted, we became very silly. I laughed without being able to breathe many times on this trip, and I will never forget all of the good times that we had. For instance, watching Dawsons creek, having pizza twice, having 4 burgers, amazing coffee, playing with yarn, the oreo game, playing spades for 3 hours, being able to sleep in the bathroom, speaking spanish in front of kids for the first time, playing with the kids, freezing cold showers, and the overall adventure that was Field-Based Training.

The Youth Development trainees.

The rest of the month has been normal, well as “normal” as you can be in a foreign country serving in the Peace Corps. It has included Spanish classes, youth development classes, trips to the Peace Corps office, hanging out with my family, and being clumsy. I have figured out that I am one of clumsiest people here, which is something I don’t love to be. There is a pedestrian walkway over the inter-american highway in San Lucas, and I swear I have fallen on it about 5 or 6 times. Passing over that passarella (name in Spanish), is something I dread every Tuesday when we go to San Lucas. I know I am going to fall and get another big bruise. Even if I wear my hiking shoes, which have a lot of tred, I still slip and fall.  This is who I am now. Lol.

The feast of Corpus Christi in Sumpango today.

This past week was Individual Directed Activities for most trainees. Instead of going to visit a volunteer for a couple days, I stayed in my training town, and had 3 full days of Spanish class. I was a little jealous that I was not able to go, but I am feeling so much better about my Spanish with those three days, so it was worth it.

Finally, on Thursday, I find out my site! I could not be more excited and nervous! I am so excited to find out where I will be living for the next two years, and start preparing for it!